Remembering Rose Ellen Part 8: A Birthday Party for Rose Ellen

We celebrated a lot of birthdays at our house with nine kids, two parents and four grandparents. There were often more than one per month. My mother went all in on our birthdays. One year she took my whole Bluebird troop to the circus! Her rule for parties was inclusive. If you invited one classmate you had to invite all of them, one bluebird? Then the entire troop was invited. It felt so special to be allowed to choose what was for dinner that night and there was always a crowd that sang to you and plenty of cake and ice cream and a very special birthday table runner. Institutional life has been described as one gray day after the next, with very few lifetime events noted, the years turning into decades. To read that my mom arranged a birthday party for her sister touches me so deeply. 

December 19, 1967

Mrs. Joel Bullard

1132 North St. Joseph Ave.

South Bend, Indiana 46617

Re: Rose Ellen Skeen

Dear Mrs. Bullard:

Rose and the residents in Dunham Hall were very pleased with her birthday party.

We purchased a large sheet cake decorated with holly, birthday napkins and candles, which cost $6.00. We placed the remaining $2.00  in Rose’s canteen fund. We trust this meets with your approval and thank you for your interest in Rose and the other residents.

Sincerely yours,

Miss McComas, R.N.

Dunham Hall

⬦⬦⬦

Personal Belongings

Included in the archives are clothing logs dated from 1959 to 1970 and several letters of correspondence between my Grandmama and the Fort Wayne hospital staff about Rose Ellen’s belongings, specifically, a pillowcase for her to embroider, a thermos, (“not allowed”) and a request to send her a folding card table, approved.

10.29.60 State School Gentleman-

We understand that Rose Ellen needs a new folding card table. Please determine whether that is the case and whether it will be permissible to get one for her for Christmas. Also, do it in a manner that will not inform her of the plan.

Sincerely, E.D. Skeen

In 1961, Rose Ellen was to go on her summer vacation to Grandmama and Papa Don’s house. A detailed letter written by my Grandmama lists the dresses she would like her to bring home to be dry cleaned, to also make sure to send her slippers and “if she has a natural color canvas jacket, please let her bring it”.

6.29.64 State School Gentleman-

Please ask Harper to include Rose Ellen’s things and to bring home the pink and the tan sweaters.

Thank you, E. Skeen

Clothing Received in 1960:

April 28, 1960

  Anklets: 3 pair

  Pajamas: 4 pair

  Vests: 4 white knit

  Hankies: 6

Shoes: 1 pair black velvet, used

July 22, 1960

  Dress: one green percale wrap around, used

One yellow percale with orange trim

  Slips: 2 white cotton

  Shoes: 2 pair, 1 pair tan rubber sole tie slipper, 1 pair black oxford

  Stoles: 1 old rose wool

September 29, 1960

Winter coat: 1 tan tweed with fur collar, used  

A radio (1965)

In 1963, Dr. Skeen typed up a short notice, asking if it would be permitted to send Rose Ellen a pocket-sized transistor radio. The radio is the subject of 5 letters from the first request in 1963 to 1965.

Rose Ellen’s Judy Monkey doll

My oldest daughter loved dolls, my middle child, stuffed animals, especially a panda, and my youngest, carried a cheetah over his back to and from preschool every day. My grandson has a fox. Rose Ellen had a Judy Monkey doll. The doll was lost for a while, which my Papa Don thought might be the cause for Rose Ellen’s sadness.  On a personal level, to know that Rose Ellen had a lovey; a monkey to add to our family of lovelies, made me so happy. It was like she became a real person to learn such a tender and “normal” fact about her. Every parent knows the emergency that is a “lost” lovey. I feel closer to my grandparents for sharing this act of parenting. I am so touched by the image of my Papa Don and Grandmama writing to the staff urging them to pay attention to Rose Ellen, to help her feel better and find her lost Judy Monkey doll. 

The correspondence is heavy with worry and concern for Rose Ellen and for good reason. Far darker things come along. This exchange of letters feels oddly heartwarming and ominous. It is so hard to reconcile the sensitivity in the staff’s letters with the conditions of the institution at the time. By the late sixties, the institution was falling into extreme disrepair, inadequate staffing, and overcrowding. But, still, the staff responded to my grandparents with a genuine concern for Rose Ellen.

Up Next: Remembering Rose Ellen Skeen: Part 9 & 10: Weekly letters, Worry and Concerns mount