Lesson Length : 15 minutes
Whether it is a person who uses a wheelchair that you see in the grocery store, a child in their class that has Autism, or a sibling with ADHD your child has someone in their life that has a disability that they might have questions about. Talking openly and honestly about disability with your kids is a critical first step in living in a more inclusive community that celebrates and embraces diversity.
Instructions:
Adults are often hesitant to talk about differences with kids. However, whether or not you talk about differences kids notice them. By avoiding kids’ questions, kids are taught that it is a rude or taboo topic. When your child asks a question about someone with a disability consider it an opportunity to talk about a new and interesting topic.
If a child asks, “Why can’t she walk?” you could say, “Are you curious about how Therese moves? We can go talk to her and ask her to tell us more about herself if you’d like.” With younger kids a simple statement will normally give them what they are looking for. In response to, “what is that thing in his stomach?” you could reply, “This is Jack’s feeding tube. Some people eat through their mouth like you do, and others eat through their stomach like Jack.”
Whether you know the person your child is asking about or not, avoid adding your interpretation of how a person may feel about their disability or what caused it. You don’t know what that person is feeling or experiencing if you haven’t taken the time to get to know them.
For example, explain that hearing aids help others hear and wheelchairs help others move around, instead of using a negative connotation (he can’t hear, she can’t walk, etc.) Use the term “disability,” and take the following terms out of your vocabulary when talking about or talking to people with disabilities. Don’t use the terms “handicapped,” “differently-abled,” or “special needs” or “retarded” as these terms frame disability as a negative thing and thus further perpetuate the exclusion, isolation and negative stigma of people with disabilities.
Kids look to adults for guidance on how to act, especially in a new or unfamiliar setting. If you stare, point, quietly move to the other side of the street, whisper about someone, talk down to, or raise your voice high like you would a little child when talking to someone with a disability, your child will see, hear and internalize those behaviors and knee-jerk reactions. Instead model inclusive and respectful language.
It is not uncommon for kids to ask questions like, “What’s wrong with that girl?” When an adult hears this, they often try to shush their kids. They are embarrassed that their child said something rude and potentially hurtful to another person. However, it is key to remember that children are not trying to be rude, they are trying to make sense of what they are seeing. A question like that however can be damaging if not addressed in an appropriate way. Explain to your kids that there is nothing wrong with people with disabilities. Explain that a child may have trouble talking or difficulty in a group situation but that doesn’t mean there’s something “wrong” with them.
We are all different in some way and that we all do things every day to adjust to our unique circumstances. For example, someone who wears glass uses them to correct blurry vision, just as someone who is non-verbal may use an assistive device like an ipad to communicate. None of these things are “wrong” they are just different ways of being in the world. Kids use the word “wrong” because they have been socialized by adults and society’s attitudes about what is considered “normal” versus “abnormal”. We can expand the notion of “normal” by talking about neurodiversity with kids and talking about how ALL body types, ways of moving, communicating, thinking and behaving are normal and healthy.
Avoid focusing solely on differences, doing so sends the message that people with disabilities are inherently different than the other kids. Instead, emphasize similarities. ALL kids are kids first and foremost and everyone wants the same things- to have friends, to play, to be loved, to laugh, feel included and to participate in activities together with their friends and family.
As kids get older they are able to ask more complex questions and are hoping to get more complex responses. Take your kids questions as opportunities to learn about different disabilities together. What do you know about Downs Syndrome? Cerebral Palsy? Sensory Processing Disorder? If your child asks about one of these and you don’t feel prepared to answer your child’s question in the moment you can always say, “ I’m not sure. Let’s learn more about it together.”
No matter the age, social interaction with kids and teens stems from having shared experiences together. Adults can help kids with and without disabilities talk to each other, to help them find common ground, understand different forms of communication, or help to slow down a conversation if kids need more time to process or to help the kids really hear what the other said.
Adults are often hesitant to talk about differences with kids. However, whether or not you talk about differences kids notice them. By avoiding kids’ questions, kids are taught that it is a rude or taboo topic. When your child asks a question about someone with a disability consider it an opportunity to talk about a new and interesting topic.
If a child asks, “Why can’t she walk?” you could say, “Are you curious about how Therese moves? We can go talk to her and ask her to tell us more about herself if you’d like.” With younger kids a simple statement will normally give them what they are looking for. In response to, “what is that thing in his stomach?” you could reply, “This is Jack’s feeding tube. Some people eat through their mouth like you do, and others eat through their stomach like Jack.”
Whether you know the person your child is asking about or not, avoid adding your interpretation of how a person may feel about their disability or what caused it. You don’t know what that person is feeling or experiencing if you haven’t taken the time to get to know them.
For example, explain that hearing aids help others hear and wheelchairs help others move around, instead of using a negative connotation (he can’t hear, she can’t walk, etc.) Use the term “disability,” and take the following terms out of your vocabulary when talking about or talking to people with disabilities. Don’t use the terms “handicapped,” “differently-abled,” or “special needs” or “retarded” as these terms frame disability as a negative thing and thus further perpetuate the exclusion, isolation and negative stigma of people with disabilities.
Kids look to adults for guidance on how to act, especially in a new or unfamiliar setting. If you stare, point, quietly move to the other side of the street, whisper about someone, talk down to, or raise your voice high like you would a little child when talking to someone with a disability, your child will see, hear and internalize those behaviors and knee-jerk reactions. Instead model inclusive and respectful language.
It is not uncommon for kids to ask questions like, “What’s wrong with that girl?” When an adult hears this, they often try to shush their kids. They are embarrassed that their child said something rude and potentially hurtful to another person. However, it is key to remember that children are not trying to be rude, they are trying to make sense of what they are seeing. A question like that however can be damaging if not addressed in an appropriate way. Explain to your kids that there is nothing wrong with people with disabilities. Explain that a child may have trouble talking or difficulty in a group situation but that doesn’t mean there’s something “wrong” with them.
We are all different in some way and that we all do things every day to adjust to our unique circumstances. For example, someone who wears glass uses them to correct blurry vision, just as someone who is non-verbal may use an assistive device like an ipad to communicate. None of these things are “wrong” they are just different ways of being in the world. Kids use the word “wrong” because they have been socialized by adults and society’s attitudes about what is considered “normal” versus “abnormal”. We can expand the notion of “normal” by talking about neurodiversity with kids and talking about how ALL body types, ways of moving, communicating, thinking and behaving are normal and healthy.
Avoid focusing solely on differences, doing so sends the message that people with disabilities are inherently different than the other kids. Instead, emphasize similarities. ALL kids are kids first and foremost and everyone wants the same things- to have friends, to play, to be loved, to laugh, feel included and to participate in activities together with their friends and family.
As kids get older they are able to ask more complex questions and are hoping to get more complex responses. Take your kids questions as opportunities to learn about different disabilities together. What do you know about Downs Syndrome? Cerebral Palsy? Sensory Processing Disorder? If your child asks about one of these and you don’t feel prepared to answer your child’s question in the moment you can always say, “ I’m not sure. Let’s learn more about it together.”
No matter the age, social interaction with kids and teens stems from having shared experiences together. Adults can help kids with and without disabilities talk to each other, to help them find common ground, understand different forms of communication, or help to slow down a conversation if kids need more time to process or to help the kids really hear what the other said.
Pause and Reflect
